Zen and the Art of Ben

New Year's Poem - ala' H.H.

2006-01-06T08:22:00.000-05:00

My good friend did indeed miss much chivalry and good times at Fort DeSoto this New Years. He wrote this lament. Read on...

My New Years

By Maya Angelou*

**********************************

Darish, blond aviator stares up at yonder sky
cracked blue with tints of birds
Not hours passed since green young men
in their own flesh colored suits
did sit upon bucket and crates
in a building with barely walls.
To this building under construction they did gaze,
at yonder portapotty at the airport which the elders call
Pensacola Regional.
For their own mates forsook them,
to travel far and wide
to see kin and the like
at parts unknown.
And like assholes,
caused the base to close.

Not these brave souls,
whose unbridaled passion for their
beloved mother sky
did they cling.
Not tempted by drink,
nor flesh,
nor the sublime sundries of lifelong friends.

This imperfect day
did the aviatiors sit in said unimproved conditions
to breif a flight that was not to be.
No!.....
Hark!
Was
That
The
Fuel
Truck?
?
Fuckballs!

Alas it went by,
so no fuel to be had
to feed the aluminum bird
that carried the young aviators so free and high,
like a negro,
minus the free part.

Day Two
And the knights of the sky sat.
The impenatrable fog a blanket that caressed them
and smelled of farts.
Too,
that day, not one aluminum food processor
did take to the sky
And the foppish navy skipper
did say,
"Yonder bar, Gents?"

Day Three
And all made
reconcilliation to thy maker
for indescretion and many unnatural acts
of such night prior
Avast!

Day Four

Was a sky so dark most of the airdales
did stay in the sack
and there was much
sinful touching of ones self.
So thine lord's holiday
passes without myrth.
With longing for good and merry times
and drinking merry brew
and setting merry fires
and merry fornication with merry small furry creatures
and beating old people
with merry in our hearts.
Oh regret,
like the aftertaste
when you kissa 20$ french whore
who smokes.
How he longs to be
with his friends
in cheer and good times,
and with purity of essence
for all mankind.
The Fuckin End

Mahalo, Bitches. The pics look great. I wish i could have been there
Next year, if i am not in Iraq.

H.H. -Poet Lauriat of Uzbekistan

The Duel: Challenge Accepted

2005-12-12T00:21:00.000-05:00

The gauntlet has been cast, and the challenge accepted. A grievous wrong has been smote upon honor, and the nobles will settle differences at noon upon a future date.

In case you, the humble reader are unawares, my childhood chum hast committed a grievous wrong. Our correspondence has been provided below. There will surely be more to come in this matter before us, as for now I provide only these details. However, rest assured, there will come more on this matter...

Dec 8

Good Sir,

In reference to the New Year's quest, all weeping has subsided. Duty to Country is held in the highest regard, whether yee man a desk or fly on silvered wings to the skies. The entire expeditionary party laments your decision. However comfortably cozy our state may be, we will raise a glass of Jim Beam and Egg Nog in your honor at the prescribed hour. Forsooth, the celebratory time of year is nigh, and the Ghost of Christmas Present knocks upon the mantle of our doors. Neigh, this one is wearing a blue vest with Wal-Mart embroidered to the front and 'How May I Help You' stenciled to the posterior. As I glance through my parlor window, I see the glittery' gleams of the Spanish settlement across the way and their glowing Feliz Navidad Holiday decor.

To address a blow to ones psyche, as surely transpired in happenstance, I speak of the events that transpired on the 25th of November. A trip was made to the deepest regions to our southernly towne by the good reader. Unawares to oneself was this. However, a trip by carriage and steed was made practically to Lord Tampa's own backyarde, to the gentelman's pub Mons Venus. For future reference, in keeping with good lordly fashion, extend the hand of chivalrous friendship to imbibe, with mouth and eye, the many delectable delicacies so freely offered. Announced visits need not official inviation nor warning.

The books on the shelf round' me are calling my name. The time for the scholarly session is nearing its close. Of late, I have alleviated my stresses with much sawing and manipulation of wooden pine. However, the hour is near when I must accumulate my knowledge for the final testing of my session. Wish me luck and in that regard I wish you Good Sir...

Godspeed,

Lord Jorge Belle of the Tampa Province

Dec 10

Dearest Lord Belle,

I trust all acedemic examinations have both transpired and hath earned the highest remarks. The estemed lineage of your families strong showing in acedemia is likely to be the culprit, nay to mention your devoted sweat and furvor.

As for our meetings on the once agreed upon time and place, I offer further apologies. I shall be scouting the area north of said position on the said date and time via aerocopter. Such further detail shall not be forthcomming because of their sensitive status.

Sir, as you so pointedly remarked in your last correspondence, I did fail to recognise your proximity to the noble and gentlemanly clube of Mons Venus. Humbly requesting your pardon, I was unsure young lady Belle's opinion of said gentelmanly clubs. Hark, then i doth realized that I had, in fact, been in accompanyment of the Lady Belle whenst we did embark upon Camelot in our nations fine Capital, prior to your nuputuals.

Herein, I state in reply to your protest. I hath offended your honor so aggreviously, that there lies no other recourse upon your part, but to issue a Request For Duel.

Your communique serves as a fresh slap from your hearty glove. I accept your challenge, and in accordance with Her Majesties Dueling Concourse, I set forth the following criteria.

1) Said duel shall take place there abouts the premise of Mons Venus.

2) It shall take -place at the strike of Noon on the day of your choosing, preferably after both of us have partaken in our respective last lunchon, which i suggest we partake togeather

3) The method shall be a formal pace-off, where in a third party shall pace us off ten (10) paces.

4) Our weapons shall be selected in accordance with Her Majesties Dueling Concourse. I proffer the following options:

a. The deadly tropical fruit, the Bananae

b. An angry cat

c. A cooked, glazed ham weighing several kilograms

d. assorted pocket lint

e. yet undeterimed amount of monies, that shall be provided by myself.

Of which, this money shall be issued to strippers on a discretionary basis. The man that utters that he can take no more blows to the face from breasts, nor anymore gyrations from said ladies for hire, shall be the vanquished.

This duel shall take place on the vicitity of the Birth Of Our Lord, when both parties shall be in the area- OR- the next time our paths cross (with a substitute forum).

Regards,

Arch-Duke Harlon Polomplanara of East Quesha-Quesha Province

In the Sovern State of Squiginara

Military Recruiting Shortfall Solution

2005-12-05T09:42:00.000-05:00

I recently had to give a presentation for one of my classes at USF. The assignment was to find a social problem had to create a solution to the issue. I chose the current recruiting shortfalls that the military is facing across the board. My solution didn't exactly cause jaws to drop on the floor, but I think I got the attention of my 20-something classmates. Here it is for your reading pleasure...

The job of killing people and breaking things is the main focus of our all-volunteer military force. However, in order of importance, recruiting falls right behind the training and equipping of the troops. Billions of dollars are spent every year to this goal. The recruiters for each branch spend months in school learning to sell the armed services to civilians (mainly high school age teens). The stress of the job takes a toll on these servicemen, yet they manage to convey the message to hundreds of thousands every year.

These guys have spit and polished routines that are pretty convincing. I speak from experience when I recall my first brush with the recruiting tactics that eventually coerced me to join. I was thirteen years old, waiting by the local gas station for my school bus. A recruiter would come in most mornings to gas up and get a cup of joe. One day he stopped by me and gave me his card. He asked me some questions and told me to give him a call if I ever thought about serving. As he left, I stood transfixed, looking at the card in my hand and thinking: "They want me. For the US Army. I must look like a total badass." The truth was that I was overweight, pimpled kid, but anyone can stop a bullet. I kept that card in wallet till I was a senior in high school. During the first week of the school year, I called the recruiting office asking for the staff sergeant that I met that at the bus stop years before. I was told that he was no longer assigned to the station by the voice at the other end of the line. However, he would be more than glad to meet with me. Within a few weeks, my mother was standing by my side as I swore to "protect the country against all enemies foreign and domestic".

Right now, the five of the ten components (active and reserve) of the 5 branches of the military have missed the recruiting goals (by 8 to 20 percent) for the 2005 fiscal year. This includes the Army, Army Reserve, Army National Guard, Air National Guard, and Navy Reserve. The Navy even missed its retention goals by 8 percent. All the active components also saw a decrease in the number of enlistees in the Delayed Entry program. This is an option that allows the enlistee to wait up to a year to ship off to boot camp from the initial "swearing-in" ceremony. This downward trend indicates that there will be a significant loss in future enlistments. Even the Marines have missed recruiting goals in over four months for the year, but still managed to meet their annual goal. That was the first time they had missed their goals in ten years (since the Gulf War). Additionally, the overall ASVAB test score for the Army recruits is significantly lower than in years past, indicating the Army is less discriminatory in who they allow into the service.

All of these factors are strongly influenced by the current situation in Iraq. There have been several recent bills passed recently in Washington aimed at resolving this issue. The No Child Behind education bill actually tacked on a measure that allows military recruiters full access to high schooler's personal information. While this was meant to aid recruiters, it has actually stirred up controversies across the country. In Seattle, the parent-teacher-student association at Garfield High School voted 25 to 5 last month to adopt a largely symbolic resolution that "public schools are not a place for military recruiters." It was symbolic for one reason. Had they voted to ban the recruiters (which is perfectly legal), they would have risked losing federal funding for the school district. Millions in federal funding didn't stop the citizens of San Francisco who recently passed a ballot measure that bans recruiters from all public high schools and colleges. This caused a political firestorm nationwide. Talk show host Bill O'Reilly even went so far as to allude that should terrorists attack San Francisco, the US shouldn't rush to their aid. At Harvard, the university's School of Law recently backed off its initial stance to ban recruiters. The fact that they receive over $400 million in federal funds annually played heavily to this decision.

To further combat the recruiting woes, the military has taken action using several available tools at their disposal. Several years ago, the Army reassigned its advertising contract with the same firm that promotes companies such as Kellogg, Nintendo, McDonald's, Coca-Cola and Walt Disney. It was a quick "out with the old in with the new" routine that killed the "Be All You Can Be" campaign (touted as one of the most successful campaigns of all time) that ran from through the 80s and 90s. The new, more self-centered and egotistical approach was taken with the "Army Of One" slogan. For the first time, advertising has also been aimed at parents of potential recruits. To further increase enlistment money has been thrown at the problem in the form of recruit cash bonus incentives.

Sometimes however, all the catchy slogans and thousand dollar bonuses don't get the bodies that are needed, and more drastic measures are taken. In the past year, the Army instituted a "Stop Loss" on over 17,000 soldiers. Stop Loss is the term used when the military withholds service members in key occupations from leaving at the end of their enlistments. For instance, a friend of mine was to leave the military in December of 2002. He was married in October only to find he was not going to get out of the service. For over seven months he was held in a captive state in Washington DC, while his wife lived hundreds of miles away in New York. It was a depressing time for my buddy. Just imagine the thousands of troops in Iraq in the past year, weeks from going back to the States and home to family. Then they are told their unit will remain in a war zone for six months, a year. No doubt, some serious backlash and grumbling transpired among the ranks.

Another instrument the military can utilize the Individual Ready Reserve (IRR). When recruits enlist in any branch of the service, they are obligated for eight years. Many never thoroughly read the contract that they signed, but it is explicitly stated. For my Army contract it stated they could call me back according to "needs of the Army", which grants them an expansive array of 'needs' to draw from. Most believe they do their two or three year active enlistment and are done. However, the military can technically pluck you from your comfortable, pot-smoking, hippie-hair-wearing, fat-bellied stupor and have you report to the nearest post within 30 days for duty. This has a direct impact on veterans like myself who have several years of obligation remaining.

In the past year, the Army sent out about 7,000 notices to IRR soldiers they needed in shortened job skills. The campaign was highly unsuccessful. A full third of those contacted never showed up. Of those who did report for duty, over half filed for exemption from duty citing family obligations, religious beliefs, desire to do drugs, physical issues, and many other reasons. They said "Thanks, but no thanks." These vets were simply satisfied with civilian life and felt they had fulfilled their obligation honorably. In fact, within the past month, the Army announced it was ending its utilization of the IRR option, at least for a while. While this is good news for guys like me, it doesn't mean that it is over. My contract, more or less signed in blood, is binding. However, what matters is that in the end, both Stop Loss and the IRR call-ups have proven detrimental to troop morale and have been momentarily abandoned. The attempted solutions to recruiting have been met with failure; the forecast remains clouded and dismal.

My proposal is this: to endorse a reactivation of conscription in the form of a draft. While this is drastic and controversial (in a recent AP poll, seven out of ten were against the draft) it remains very familiar to our country. The concept of mandatory civilian military obligation has been used since civilizations began warring with one another thousands of years ago. Historically, our country has used conscription quite a few times. Here are just a few 'little' skirmishes where conscription or a draft was used: the War of 1812, the Civil War, World War I, World War II, the Korean War, and Vietnam. In fact, many countries currently use conscription. These include: China, Egypt, Finland, Mexico, Greece, Romania, Sweden, and Turkey. Countries such as Israel are highly successful with conscription, even going as far as allowing women to serve (!) in the military. However, Russia's conscription is rife with corruption, allowing many to gain exemptions with bribes.

In 2004, Senators Rangel (D-NY) and Hollings (D-SC) proposed legislation that would have reinstituted a draft for men and women into military of civilian service (i.e., Americorps). The Selective Service Initiative (as it was named) came to a vote in the House of Representatives. It was not even close and lost by a vote of 402-2. The two representatives explained their proposal as a protest against the president's endless wars in the Mid-East.

Needless to say, their protest had a point; and there is a strong argument to be made for reactivating the draft. If the Congress and the administration were relying on the votes of those in uniform, they would now have to think twice. When most of the country fills the 'able bodied and sound mind' requisite of the military, they would be apt to slow down a massive worldwide deployment. Those in charge would also have to consider the fact that their own children could be drafted and called to serve. Part of the reason why a draft is so unpopular is because of the bad taste left in the mouth of citizens after the Vietnam War. Rich and educated citizens were able to skirt duty (our current Vice President received five deferments from duty during that time period). An "honest draft" similar to those used in World War II and the Korean War would have to be employed this time around. Additionally, the draft would ensure that a more accurate slice of the country is represented in the armed services. Currently the military is stocked with primarily middle and lower class citizens, and does not represent our class system equally.

The draft would bolster the all-volunteer military. During the buildup to the war in Iraq, the Army's highest ranked officer, General Eric Shinseki, called loudly for a massive invading force. When he wouldn't stop, he was more or less relieved of duty. As a soldier in the Honor Guard, I was on the parade field for his retirement ceremony (of note, Secretrary of Defense Rumsfeld failed to show). In his speech, he continued to warn that the Army shouldn't overextend itself across the globe by saying "Beware the 12-division strategy for a 10-division Army." Considering that I normally focused on standing straight and beating the 90-degree heat of the Capital Region, it is strange that I even pulled those words from his speech. However, it is even stranger to see that the military eventually heeded his words. After the initial charge and occupation of Iraq, we soon discovered that more troops were needed to secure and stabilize the region. Conscription would stave off the fears of not having ample support back home. By having millions manning the guns back home, there would be plenty of troops to handle the problems abroad. While it may be too late to enact a draft to affect Iraq. For future conflicts however, we should be prepared.
Another effect of a draft is a large veteran population. Veterans are a positive force in America. Movies like Born On The Fourth Of July have presented many with a distorted view of veterans. However, contrary to those beliefs is the fact that many veterans have utilized the experiences gained from the military to better themselves. Millions used the GI Bill to further their education after World War II, enabling our country to use a educated populace to become the hegemony we are today. Additionally, the VA hospital system is no longer a punch line when it comes to providing healthcare for veterans. In fact, it is the largest single payer unified healthcare system in America today. Imagine if all citizens were veterans. Legislation would pass to increase funding for the VA system, finally activating a universal healthcare system for most Americans. This could force the streamlining of our current healthcare, with all its problems.

While the draft is controversial, it is not out of the picture. All the pieces are in place, just waiting for the next War to End All Wars. Most males (aged 18-35) are aware of the Selective Service. This puts them in a databank for access should we ever need to utilize the draft. Without entering into the system, most men cannot receive federal funding, grants, or even get a job at McDonalds. The case for a draft is very strong. Troops must be protected from administrational decisions such as ill-advised deployments, lack of support, and lack of manpower on the front lines. The time has passed to aid the troops in Iraq; however, it is only a matter of time till the draft is reactivated. Our country has used the draft successfully in the past, and there is no reason to see why it couldn't work again in the future.

I got soul but I'm not a soldier...

2005-11-27T16:28:00.000-05:00

I've been a fucking slave for this blog over the past few months. I really love this whole blogging thing though... I think. Anyhow, we are required to write just three blogs a week. Two hundred and fifty words. When I first started this blog thing, I was cruising the other blogs from ENC 1102 religiously. I soon found out that no one else really gave a shit about blogging. I tried to find some blogs to comment on, but no one was writing! How strange, since this is possibly the easiest thing to knock out in a half-hour time frame. It's all about time management.

Truth be told, I put way too much effort into mine. I'm talking (wink-wink) about extra credit here. You know, since I actually did the assignments when they were due. Additionally, I normally wrote 500-600 words a post. I don't really know what was up with that. Like I said, I really went a bit over the top. So now I find it comical to read this anomynous classmate's blog to see her frantic postings like this gem here. With this blog she writes a blistering 153 word diatribe about her plane ride to Turkey Day in Pittsburgh. I really hope she doesn't think that our professor actually meant by 'make up' that you could just type a half-assed account of a few days while you caught up to the magic number.

The next post by Classmate X is most assuredly about the next thing she runs into: her 90 year-old great grandmother. I can almost envision her rushing to a quiet room to type:

"She is a firm believer in the lord above, and believes that i part of the reason why she stays so yound. I was the only great grandchild for 13 years and now there 8 more. She is an ispiration to me. Im so happy i have a chance to spend some tiem with her. "

Its so cute how she mispells half of her descriptive words calling her "one of my heros". I suppose she wanders into her next subject, that of grandchildren, when she arrives in Pittsburgh and sees the burgeoning ranks swelling with new members. The final post refers to the snowwy day (sic) and the "icycles" that formed after Thanksgiving.

I really don't want to sound like a big a-hole, but that is what I am. What is so hard about using the spell check option? It seems as if the class has been given a free pass. In fact, Professor Tivnan just wrote today: "You should have a total of 36 blogs by that date (December 12)." Lets hope she makes people write about the same topics that were posted for each week and not just some piss-poor stream of consciousness footnote of a day in the life of _____. I guess all of us can really look forward to the next posts, most likely titled "Plane Ride Home: Soooo Long!" and the subsequently and aptly titled "So Slepy(sic) Now, Time for Bed". I just love the elevated social discussion these blogs provided, don't ya'll?

Constitutional Interpretation

2005-11-27T15:36:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine is a lawyer for the Securities Exchange Commission in Washington. He once told me that he found it beautiful that the Constitution could be interpreted in so many different ways. He seemed to find comfort in that. I could say my father finds comfort in what he believes, which is the direct opposite. He is a originalist and clings to exactly what was penned on those pages so many years ago. As I recently wrote, Thomas Jefferson once entertained the possibility of what he called a 'sovereign generation'. By that term, he meant that each generation changed in scope, in beliefs, and in values. Subsequently, new laws should be drafted to accommodate the change.

Originalists cloak their personal beliefs with those of our forefathers. They seem to forget the references in those prized documents that acknowledge and legalize slavery and shun women's rights. I find no problem with what they fight for. I believe slavery is wrong. I am against abortion (surprised?). I believe that people should be able to protect their families. However, I do not pretend that our founding fathers meant for us to take their words to further our own unique generational problems. They had no looking glass, no master plan and certainly no pretenses of what the future of our country would hold. Carrying no misgivings, they knew that what rights they granted in the Constitution and even in the amendments would not cover the vast scope of problems brought forth by the citizenry. They most certainly laid a firm foundation, and America built off that model. The new model was cast from a democratic mold and smashed the old, which was one grounded in the aristocracy and feudal system that reigned supreme in Europe since the Middle Ages.

Jefferson's theory is essentially what transpires these days, albeit in a much disguised version. The law is not rewritten; indeed to do so would ensnare our legal system in a state of constant gridlock. Instead, laws are proposed and reinterpreted over the course of many years and spanning generations. Take the case of Brown vs. Board of Education, and what eventually gave black Americans equal ground when it came to education. That was the result of a long fight that started with the Emancipation Proclamation and ended with black Americans finally having recognition in one more arena of modern American life. Considering Jefferson's storied history with Sally Hemings and his own personal utopian tendencies he carried in that classical cranium of his, I imagine that he would have been pleased with the modern result.

His Excellency: Modern Man

2005-11-20T20:36:00.000-05:00

When I was I kid, I used to watch Jeopardy at night with my mother. I was in first grade and had yet to acquire the gross intelligence that now fuels this blog (haha). For most answers, I distinctly remember stating "Who is George Washington?". You can imagine my glee when I finally nailed the provided answer. It could have been any of a million facts...

The father of his country, he never actually felled a cherry tree.

An accomplished surveyor with crooked teeth, this founding father's image is etched into Mount Rushmore.

A member of Virginia's planter class, he became the first and only General of the continental Army in 1776.

Currently, I am reading Joseph J. Ellis' His Excellency: George Washington, the latest in his Revolutionary generation book collection. I finished Founding Brothers a few years back, and could hardly put it down. I find his writing fascinating. In writing a book, Ellis pours through mounds of documents, letters, and endless titles for one singular purpose: to give an almost three dimensional description of the subject at hand. One would think that most of what he is telling his audience is common knowledge, yet he is able to tie together many different sources and make succinct observations about whomever he is writing about. That is why I enjoy the books so much. Of course, his books are more of a literature review and the reader is expected to trust his observations. These observations come from Ellis and his pouring over thousands of hand-written letters. Knowing this fact, I trust he will draw the correct conclusion of the historical figure.

One of my favorite parts of His Excellency deals with Washington's youthful development. While the focus on his early days falls short in comparison with the depth and scope that the rest of book covers, it is not for lack of effort on the author's part but can be more attributed to the fact that so little is know about the young Washington. However, the book is able to reveal a few important character traits that will mold his life. Ellis is able to glimpse through Washington's early decisions, an ambitious agenda that the young man sets for himself. His decision to forgo a formal education is bolstered by his maturation as a surveyor for the wild country of the Virginia frontier. At the age of 20, he assumes a military post vacated by his deceased older brother and mentor with an eloquent petition to Virginia governor Robert Dinwiddie. Over the course of the next five years he hones his military skills and begins to strengthen his personal perspective.

In His Excellency, Ellis paints a vivid picture of a young man, intent on establishing his roots in Virginia aristocracy. However, what I found astounding was the fact that age of 17, Washington was able to purchase his piece of land, a mere 1,459 acres, on a choice plot in the Shenandoah Valley. It would be his first of many acreage acquisitions for the man who would be the father of our country. It struck me that a mere 250 years ago, what we know today as America was but a wilderness, and given a modest beginning, men such as Washington were able to forge their own path. While George started out with slightly more than most, he was no privileged son. He merely took his lot and made the most of it.

Sometimes, when driving around the outskirts of a modern southern city I end up in the suburbs. The suburban area I speak of is not the one on the edge of the metropolitan area. This suburb is normally strung out ten miles or more from the distal edge of the city. In Tampa, that region is Land O' Lakes. Positioned just outside Hillsborough county proper, the flat country is home dozens of developments. Take a noun normally associated with something natural or and a terrain feature and you have another name for your new community starting in the low $190s (!). Fawn Ridge, Plantation Palms, Mango Hills, and Heritage Plains are all possible names for a quiet domestic life. I can't imagine ever living in a satellite community such as these. For reasons unmentionable here, I just can't stand them.

I have a strange discomfort in comparing Washington's American dream to the modern version. The one where every man can afford a manicured lawn complete with a two car garage and his collection of tools strapped to the walls. In Washington's day, he was able to pursue his vision of the dream. Owning mass amounts of land and cultivating a prosperous life for himself, only to find that he was bound, tooth and nail to the mercantile British system. Then he basically got really pissed off when he discovered the truth, and set out to change it. Today's man also finds himself working to the bone to capture his dream on the outskirts of society, only to wake up one day surrounded by strip malls and gas stations. He wonders what he can do about it. Time is running out for this guy, and hopefully he will find the solution to being boxed in.

Triathlons = Good Times

2005-10-30T21:41:00.000-05:00

For the past month my wife and have been training sporadically for the Top Cop Triathlon in Temple Terrace. This triathlon consists of a .25 mile swim, 8 mile bike, and 3 mile run. It is referred to as a 'sprint' triathlon (a normal triathlon is 2.5 mile swim/156 mile bike/26 mile run). A co-worker of Claire's has managed to convince us to run in a few 5K races and gave us the nudge to sign up for the triathlon. Training wasn't supposed to be that complicated. Just swim some, do a little bit of biking, and run...right?

SWIMMING (SUCKS ASS)
We started swimming on Saturday afternoons and eventually added more days. The pool at Sulfur Springs is nice and not very crowded at night. Swimming really blew for me. For starters, I couldn't swim very far. Even though I am not a swimmer, I thought I could handle a few laps. I found I could only knock out maybe three or four laps before clinging to the sides for air. How embarrassing! I am a self-professed 'water-baby'. I've been known to swim/drift/float almost the entire length of the Ichetucknee River. The truth was this: I sucked at swimming. My swimming resume didn't really 'hold water' as they say. Of course, my goggles kept filling with water letting in the seemingly high concentrated chlorine into my eyes. That pissed me off. Worse, I tried to use a kickboard to no avail... I always seemed to die halfway down the middle of the lap. And finally I began to lose it when I looked over at my wife (former youth swim team member) cruising through her laps with apparent ease. I guess I just couldn't stand that she could whip me in something physical. Despite my jealousy, she taught me how to do a backstroke. I mostly just got water in my nose and mouth learning how, but I managed to get it down. The curses were flying out of my mouth with no restraint. Somehow I managed to get to my target goal of 18 laps with a combination of freestyle, backstroke, doggy-paddle, and drowning.

BIKING
Well, my bike had a flat till two days before training so I didn't really do much with that. I did bike for about 30 minutes once at USF's gym, but I'm not sure if it counted. Of note, our bikes our the popular mountain bike style, which don't really come in handy for a open road race.

RUNNING
I ran between two and five miles to train for this race. I've found a nice long loop in my neighborhood for the long run. For the short run, the track at Hillsborough High School (a few blocks from my house) is nice. However, you have to dodge field goals from punters on the football team and cheerleading practice.

RACE DAY
Claire and I got up at the crack of dawn. On a Sunday. She really hates that, since she works 8-4 everyday. With my student schedule, it's not a really big deal. I outfitted my SUV with our bikes, while Claire gathered our gear. I really like getting some 'utility' from that thing; I feel like it is earning it's keep. By the way, our 'gear' consisted of a two pairs of goggles, two towels, a Clif bar, a bottle of water, and a extra set of shoes. When we got to the race we had to 'stage' our bikes, shoes, etc. We noticed that most people had nice road bikes and felt embarassed by our lack of nice gear. To make us feel better, our friend's husband mentioned how slow we would be compared to the rest. I was mad until the bike portion, when a 60 year old guy who was about two minutes behind me in the swim went cruising by me like he was Lance Armstrong.

The morning of the race, Tampa was on the tail end of a cold front and it was around 58 degrees. In my tiny swimming/jogging shorts I wasn't feeling it. My collective balls shrank into my stomach when I looked at the pool. Luckily for me, the city planners of Temple Terrace managed give the citizens a heated pool. THANK THE GODS! So the swim was no problem. I was placed in the fifth heat. Claire went ahead of me and did very well: second out of her heat. Then I got in the water. I noticed that no one was doing the backstroke and decided I would have to doggy paddle if it came to that. However, when the gun sounded it lit something new in me: I became a rocket! Somehow I knocked out 9 laps of freestyle before changing to the breaststroke, which I only used for a few laps. I ended up doing .25 mile in 8:40 and tied for first in my heat. How nice is that?

The bike ride was nice and uneventful. As I mentioned, my mountain bike tires seemed to be made of glue and I was passed by several sketchy folks. I probably could have used some additional training but I did pretty decent considering that, had I owned a road bike I would have knocked about 4-5 minutes off my time at a minimum.

The one thing that took me by surprise was the transition from bike to run. I hadn't aticipated the difficulty of that enterprise. My legs felt like lead as I dismounted the bike and ran it back to the rack. The only highlight from my three mile jog was the fact that I passed that old 60 year old bastard who thought he was all hot shit on his bike. Claire met me near the end and urged me to run faster, but I only wanted to puke as I crossed the finish; somehow, I managed not to do that.

Yeah, sweet victory! My time of 1:06:42 netted me lovely trophy you see at top of the post. Even though there were only 4 guys in my age group, it felt good and has definitely made me a fan of these races. I talked to my gung-ho Marine buddy up in Pensacola. I think we should gather a bunch of his buddies and mine and meet for a race. Of course, we would put our own little twist on the whole thing. We would have to all wear Speedos the entire race and swim caps. Our noses would have a absurd amount of pink suntan lotion covering them. To top it off, we will carry a boombox with hits like "Chariots of Fire" and "Eye of the Tiger" playing. Coming soon to a race near you.

Bono Wuz Robbed!!!

2005-10-23T18:59:00.000-04:00

The Nobel Peace Prize is an impossible concept. The committee must be feeling that progress toward peace it so unsuccessful that the award must reflect the degree of effort that sucked the least. I don’t even think Mohamed ElBaradei and the IAEA were really even considering that pursuit of ‘peace’ when they went sleuthing around Iraq the last few years. They were using Inspector Gadget when you really needed Penny; because there was nothing out there. I guess the committee was making a finger-to-nose gesture with the rest of the world at the U.S. Saying: "we feel ya' dawg". Of course, Alfred Nobel would be say "tisk, tisk, tisk", at the superpower of the free world recklessly carrying about a foreign policy that promotes peace as toilet tissue, doormats, and false motivation to a ‘free people’. What a joke though, to give it to a bunch of guys who did little, if anything to stop the war. They may as well have given it to Colin Powell.

Someone should clue these clowns in. The fact is, we are running out of peaceful options and NGO's that are relevant against such blatant abuses of power. Not like it matters anyhow, Peace itself is such an elusive little dove anyway, shitting all over the world, while activists try to feed it seed and capture it for weddings. It is so hopeless to even pursue peace. It’s like trying to find TRUTH. Abstract concepts are not going to appear by happenstance. Well, maybe at the top of the mountain, truth can be found after ten years of silent meditation.

In the end they should have given it to Bono. He was robbed. I think the rockin’ globetrotter deserved it just for effort. The oft-glasses-clad Irish-American has been selflessly promoting one sort of Nobel (sic) cause or another since the Pop Tour. However, I guess all was lost when he donned a jean jacket with the American flag stitched to the inside. You see, the Norwegian Nobel Committee has strict standards. You simply cannot wear a flag that was made in a different country than that depicted on the flag. Sorry. Next time pal, until then keep on searching for that which you are looking for.

A question of ethics...

2005-10-23T09:11:00.000-04:00

The Coen Brother’s* cinematic classic ‘Miller’s Crossing’ starts off with a frank discussion of ethics. A mob boss is fixing fights, but every time he books a fight with a certain bookie, he gets screwed. “I'm talkin' about friendship. I'm talkin' about character. I'm talkin' about--hell, Leo, I ain't embarassed to use the word--I'm talkin' about ethics… Out of town money comes pourin' in. The odds go straight to hell.” he says. It’s a great scene, made hilarious by the fact that he is basing his justification (whacking a shady bookie) on ethics, something that is normally associated with a moral justification. Should that be the case? Americans have been misled to believe that ethics are associated with morals, that which is Right or Wrong. The concept of ethical relativism is intertwined with the misinterpretation of the term ethics.

The Markkula Center for Applied Ethics finds that ethical relativism is “the theory that holds that morality is relative to the norms of one's culture. That is, whether an action is right or wrong depends on the moral norms of the society in which it is practiced. The same action may be morally right in one society but be morally wrong in another. For the ethical relativist, there are no universal moral standards -- standards that can be universally applied to all peoples at all times. The only moral standards against which a society's practices can be judged are its own. If ethical relativism is correct, there can be no common framework for resolving moral disputes or for reaching agreement on ethical matters among members of different societies.”

Scholars often dismiss this theory. They can cite a laundry list of some of the blatant, morally wrong situations where the ethics of one society will overwhelm the ethics of another. It makes sense, if you are looking at the problem from a functional level. No one would want values or morals expunged by those of a different culture. Of course, that is how wars normally start, especially in the modern arena. Arguments have been made as to Bin Laden’s motivation in 2001; whether or not it stemmed from hatred or fear of encroachment remains a topic of discussion.

Looking at ethical relativism solely as a theory lends one to more understanding. If the theory is true, then the mob boss’s reaction becomes clear. In his culture, fixing a fight concedes a certain amount of trust at the ‘fixing level’. He doesn’t want his pick to get out in the public or the “odds go straight to hell”. It is normal for him to expect a fixed fight to go off as planned. His trust is placed in a bookie, which appears to be getting the best of him. He has chosen to kill him… “for starters” as he puts it. That is where his dilemma lies.

*FYI, the Coen Brothers are my favorite directors. Check there stuff out in: Blood Simple, Raising Arizona, Fargo, The Big Lebowski, and Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?.

School House Rock: Propaganda Edition

2005-10-11T23:55:00.000-04:00

There has been a push over the past few years to establish a more multicultural curriculum in many colleges across the country. USF is no exception in this trend. A recent article on CNN.com discussed a similar move on the part of state legislatures to encourage more international course material in public schools. Critics suggest that this “politically correct” push could further overload history teachers who already have trouble finding time to teach American history.

Teachers are once again being given a new set of standards and a list of items that must be implanted into the young's collective brains before the Big Brain Dump of summer. Whatever happened to the good old days? When teachers could contrive their own lessons and mold young minds so that by the end of class they were all standing on their desks shouting "O Captain! My captain!!" Those days are long gone and perhaps only existed in the minds of a few screenwriters and ambitious education majors.

Teachers have been the soldiers of governmental propaganda for the past 100 years. For a few years when my siblings and I were young we were home schooled. It was less the fact that my parents were kooky (they were) and more of a fact that Mom just wanted us around. That fact matters not, it's just whenever the subject of home-schooling is brought up some excuse or reason is needed. You just heard mine. Anyhow, my mother decided to teach us from a old history book. Published around the 1890s, it was quite an interesting read. Mom tried to teach us from the book for a time but it soon became a massive collection of epic battles with Indians and the bravery of notable unknowns in obscure Civil War battles. Looking at the book years later it is easy to see what was going on. It was revisionist history before the term was even invented. I was astounded at the misgivings, racism, and blatant opinion presented as fact for the young Laura Ingalls-Wilder era child. It was the Chicken Soup for the Civil War Veteran's Soul.

On a hilarious note, my mother now teaches history to 'gifted' fifth graders in a beach community here in Florida. Recently, she showed me some of her curriculum that was issued to her from the state. There are entire chapters about the Nation of Israel circa 6,000BC - 5AD. Yep, that is prime Bible story time. Even being married to a preacher, she questioned the validity of such blatant welding of church and state. Sure enough, within a week of reaching the Ten Commandments section of 'history' she was getting letters and phone calls.

So what is the point? Well, unless you have a Professor John Keating or Steven Ambrose teaching your elementary class, you are just shit out of luck. History's role as a subject has unquestionable merit. Even so, when schools recieve their funds from the feds or the state there are certain sacrifices that must be made. Teaching what someone else deems as important definitely falls into that category. That isn't to say that a bold teacher can't get away with sneaking a lesson or two into the school year about something relevant like say... slavery's roots. However, the chances that that teacher will return in the next year may be greatly diminished.

We Put the Suck in Success

2005-10-11T22:34:00.000-04:00

Here at the University of South Florida, some faculty members in the English department have noticed an upward trend of Freshman Composition student's final course grades. Reported at over 50%, this figure is evidently too high for an academic environment boasts just a 47% graduation rate. It has even been said that in some classes every single student received an 'A' (gasp!). However some schools like Princeton are taking steps to ensure that grade inflation is a thing of the past. Should the school administration hold the classes to a certain percentage of A’s regardless of the instructors’ personal evaluation of students’ work?

That is an interesting question. For instance, take this class where all the students received the highest possible grades. In some fields that would be considered an 'outlier', or an abnormality. Obviously, some teacher from New College transferred to USF and was intimidated by the rigid grade scale. That person then decided to forgo the standards and give those lucky students the same grades. Just imagine the delight of the Timmy the Timeless Guy who never came to class. Waking up past noon one day, just before he lights a bowl his eyes glaze over to his transcripts lying under his stash. He decides to finally brave his fears and take a gander. To his surprise, nestled between an 'Incomplete' and a 'D' is his ENC 1101 grade. Besides his bowl, there is now even more to be happy about. But what has Timmy learned? Putting his joy aside, one could say that nothing has been learned.

In college, no one should be given anything for free. Unless it is beer, food, books, clothes, goldfish... but I digress. At Princeton, they are obviously noticing an upward splurge in achievers. Achieving is not something everyone is supposed to do (according to Princeton only 35% should get the 'A'). Steps to curb that are being made and it looks like professors are going to have to stop the Love Train. I for one am glad.

There is a reason why I feel this way. Confession: I am the one who wrote a passionate yet tactful email to one of my professors at the end of last spring term. She had given the entire class license to cheat on the last exam by giving out the answer key. Having taught a fine class all semester, it was very much out of character. She must have had a lot of low grades or a few teary-eyed-mascara-smeared young ladies bawling their hearts out in her office with the best excuse they had on display. I was angry since it was a class designed with my major in mind. Most of the students in the class were technically competing with me, and for the slackers who didn’t bust it all term to get a final grade equal to mine in grade only… I couldn’t let that go by. I was also mad that I had ruined a perfectly fine weekend holed up in the library studying for a final when I could have been anywhere else.

That is the adult learner (Cough! Dickhead! Cough!) in me I suppose. It really didn't matter. The professor never even considered responding to my email. Why should she? She did a nice thing and I am the just the asshole who didn't want the other people to have a good grade. Besides, she couldn't change anything anyway. Maybe my letter did have some effect. Maybe this term she won't do that again. This grade deflation policy that Princeton is trying isn’t such a bad thing. If they can get some of old ‘softies’ to change their ways, then there wouldn't be guys (DICK!) like me writing long, unread emails at the end of the term.

Soldier's Blogs

2005-10-08T18:59:00.000-04:00

This story falls into the same vein as my Pat Tillman post the other day. The author, Zachary Scott-Singley is a soldier stationed in Iraq. He is one of hundreds of soldiers who take the time to post in a blog whenever they have a chance. His posts are sometimes just short anecdotes as to what he did that day; something for his wife to see. However, there are others like the one linked above that are extended insights into the war and the toll that these men and women go through. Blogs like this one give soldiers a much-needed outlet for venting frustrations that come from the real-life images of war.

I didn't find it very surprising that the Pentagon chose to selectively censure soldiers whose blogs gave away a little too much information. Soldiers came under fire over the spring when TIME magazine featured some links to their blogs. The information that they placed on their websites has contradicted some the reports of their superiors. In a war, that spells trouble. Officers charged with management and care of soldiers must take necessary steps to ensure they have complete control of their unit. I can understand both sides of this issue. I would have to side with the officers on this one.

Some soldiers understand that rights shrink upon joining the service. Note that I said 'some' when referring to today's soldiers. That is no mistake. Most never even read their contracts, but they may as well sign in blood when they enroll in this school. I remember reading my contract about ten times before I decided to enlist. I just had to get the courage to subject to a new law: the Uniform Code of Military Justice. This is the type of law that is enclosed in a single book and it is short and sweet. It's like Cliff's Notes for everything lawyers learn in law school, with a special nod to those who regard the Constitution as laughable. That law basically puts a person into the realm of peerless juries, battlefield executions, and a brief Bill of Rights. Most soldiers never cross that line. Those that do are quickly disciplined and pushed back into line. This war has changed that.

Soldiers like Colby Buzzell and Zachary Scott-Singley are walking that fine line. Their posts don't bash the Army or question the administration as much as they challenge the way people think. They question the ethics that underlie the war and show the ugly faces of war. I champion these men (and women) and hope that the Information Age provides the future with some dash of truthfulness that can't be censured.

Logos is MY BOY!

2005-10-08T15:48:00.000-04:00

I'll tell you what. Show me an argument, and I will find my way to the bottom of it as fast as I can. Normally, I don't have time for the emotional plea that is the forefront of most argument points. Those are to be regarded as dangerous or deceptive. I will not lie; when I write or verbally argue I WILL employ such means (ethos, pathos, etc). I find playing to emotion will work very well. However, for myself I regard my intellect as superior as to be swayed by emotion in any circumstance.

Emotion is such a volatile component of argument. I use the term 'dangerous' because it is. Emotions can tend to get away from people. This can lead to unforeseen and tragic consequences. Without a doubt, it can also lead to a state of bliss or unbridled passion for a cause, person, etc. For myself, I prefer to look at an argument and sift through the images that rise above what the article is really about. For instance, when talking about national tragedy in a country a reporter will sometimes focus on a single young child, alone and in the dark. An image like that is powerful and can garner powerful support. I try and taper that and focus on the scope of what really happened.

In class the other day my professor was breaking down a simple argument that a husband and wife may have over the purchase of a car. They start with their claims and eventually one can break those down to reasons and the base warrant of the entire argument: the value they placed on... whatever. It made me think of when my spouse and I have similar arguments. We almost always go straight for the base and try to figure out why that is important. This actually helps us learn more about each other.

That is why logos is my boy. I prefer the root of the argument, the meat, the main crux of the issue. I like framing my own arguments with the emotional tone, honing in onmy victims psyche with my carefully positioned reason. But for myself, I prefer what lies beneath the argument and what the author is trying to sell me. But I've written too long this morning, I gotta go mail my payment to support my child in Djibouti so he doesn't get eaten by tsetse flies.

Greg Olson: Super Duper Space Cadet

2005-10-06T09:49:00.000-04:00

This past week an American millionaire paid to be part of a Russian crew blasting off in a Soyuz rocket on their way to the international space station. Should citizens be able to pay to take part in space missions? How far should we take this idea of tourism? Should citizens be able to pay to see battles in war or participate in scientific research projects that may perhaps be dangerous for the crew? Why or why not?

Countries around the world waited with bated breath until a few weeks ago, when Russia emerged from relative obscurity with a surprising announcement. Russia has been flying low under the radar since proclaiming their satisfaction with the possibility of Sen. John Kerry winning the U.S. presidency. The world's governments had merely supposed that such a blunder of foreign policy had led them to remain silent for most of the year. However, when Supreme Chancellor of All Territories Vladimir Putin ('Pootie-Poot' as President George W. Bush refers to in private company) announced that Russia would start a 21st century tourism race with the creation of Russo-Disney. Catering mostly to the wealthy and powerful they will be providing "a outlet for all who were disappointed by the Journey To Mars ride as a child".

Some have speculated that the Russians seek to acquire top U.S. talent via this newest venture. Space tourist Gregory Olson is the third such person to pay for this venture into space. Although he prefers the term "private space researcher" he did say that the current title is better than "space luggage". As a scientist, Mr. Olson is no regular $20 million dollar ticket holder by any stretch of the means. His work with infrared imagery is notable, having had one of his sensors used for this summer's Discovery mission, inspecting the shuttle for damage. He is a scientist with the utmost sincerity in his love for the stars. An anonymous source deep in Russian government said recently "We are very pleased dat Gregory hafs agreed to wok wiff oz. His wok wiff infrared imagery could be used to find missing cattle in zour fields. Do you tink he will like dis fur-lined hat?"

Even if the mission is a success ('success' being defined by level of enjoyment of the ride), the program is doomed by failure. There simply is not a demand from the Rich and Famous to see the stars. Why? They see the stars all the time; on Mulholland Drive, Hollywood Boulevard, and Miami Beach. Who wants to pay $20 million for a trip to outer space when, for a couple million and a few hit singles you can get a seasonal pass to the Playboy Mansion? Ask Fred Durst what he prefers and he will quickly point you towards the bunnies.

Meanwhile high above Earth in the International Space Station, little Greg Olson is up in space looking down at all of God's Magnificent Creation praying that his fantastic voyage never ends. One can easily imagine him putting on his headphones and starting his 'Outer Space Road Trip' iPod mix. As the sounds of Pink Floyd fill his auditory canal, he pushes himself up from the bunk and starts a few zero-gravity spins. Spinning aimslessly around the cabin, and uses his arms to accelerate his motion and closes his eyes for a bit savoring the moment. His head slams violently into the ceiling and his entire body bounces in the opposite direction, appendages flinging about. Glancing around, he makes sure no one sees him and mutters, "Stupid! Stupid idiot!"

Pat Tillman's Political Beliefs

2005-10-02T13:50:00.000-04:00

It was revealed last week in an article by the San Francisco Chronicle that perhaps Pat Tillman wasn’t really completely supportive of the war in Iraq. Several soldiers from his Ranger unit were quoted stating his opposition to the war. The piece even alluded to a secret meeting arranged with Noam Chomsky scheduled after his tour in Afghanistan. The article makes for an interesting read, describing the horrific details of his tragic death and the subsequent anguish his family has suffered.

Almost a year and half after his death, this story really isn’t headline news. Perhaps the most interesting reaction has been from conservatives like Ann coulter, who on “Hannity and Colmes” dismissed the possibility of his misgivings. The news would be hard for almost anyone to swallow. Having followed the story from day one when he enlisted in the Army, many had formed an image of a stalwart hero. This image was of Tillman, 100% American, charging after the enemy with unwaverable faith in his country and leadership.

Last week, during a conversation with a friend of mine we breached the subject of Iraq and the war. My response (opposing his) made him say “Ben, I’m surprised you say that, you were in the military!” In other words, he believes as many do: that joining the military renders the subject of all independent thought. While it is true that most of those in service lean to the right (and hard) there are plenty that do not see things in the same light. Just like our country, there are those who can ask questions of themselves and what they are a part of.

The military is merely an arm of government. It is strong and powerful arm, but not capable of mind control. When someone signs up they normally have a reason for doing so. For myself, I wanted to get out and see something new, have some adventure, and of course get money for college. The fact is, I was very grateful for my country and felt that I owed it something but that reason for enlistment ranked way behind all others. There are many like Pat Tillman who joined solely to serve their country.

When serving your country, you have to place a certain amount of blind faith that you will not be steered into the wrong place. As I swore to defend this land ‘against all enemies, foreign and domestic’ I remembered thinking: “What if my gun-toting dad joins some militia and decides to wreck havoc? Would I have the balls to defend against him?” The general public would assume that most members, guided by their faith in country would defend it against their own crazy fathers. That may be true, but there would be many still who question the validity of their actions and whether it was right. I’m sure that once Tillman was fully ingrained into the Army he truly realized that he was merely a piece of that powerful arm and they depended on him and those like him. However, he realized that his ability to think freely was not taken from him; that it was possible, to serve and question at the same time.

Country Grammar

2005-10-01T16:33:00.000-04:00

At this point in your academic career what are you considering for a major? Why? How do you think this class, and the composition program in general, will help you in the future as you proceed with your classes and later your professional career? Do you think that students should be obligated to take ENC 1101 and 1102? Why or why not? Why in your opinion has the University of South Florida made these classes mandatory for graduation?

I'm just a few credits away from my pre-requisites for the nursing program at the University of South Florida. In fact, this is my last 'undergrad' semester. That excites me for many reasons. I will soon be focused on (and paying for) a subject that truly captivates my interest. I will be one step closer to being out of college and back in a full time job. Nothing thrills me more than the thought of me, nursing degree in hand, using it however I see fit. I really don't see myself as your typical 'wiping the ass' kind of nurse. That aspect of my chosen profession has never held much allure for me. The best thing about nursing is the diversity of the field. You can work in hospital environment, provide in-home care, teach, or work at the FBI. I look forward to finding my niche as a nurse.

One of the most anticipated aspects of finishing this term will be the simple fact that I will be done with many pointless and uninteresting classes. However, one of the few subjects that truly interests me is the composition course I am currently enrolled in. Last spring, I took the first of a two-course composition requirement for all students. Instead of requiring that I learn entirely new subject matter, I was handed the reins to my mind and told to explore a little. These classes enable students to have a creative outlet while honing necessary grammar and writing skills. If you graduate from a university, pay thousands of dollars, and get a degree, then you should be able to write with poise and intelligence.

Not everyone is destined to write well. Most will settle for marginal at best. In fact, most people do not even care to learn how to write creatively at all. However, that said, writing is a crucial piece of hardware. It will come in handy when needed whether one wishes to write scholarly pieces for a journal seeking publication or they merely wish to convince the court of their innocence in a case of speeding down Interstate 4. Frankly, I'm glad USF has such a requirement. I don't see where the opposition would have much grounds for an argument. If the student was enrolled at ITT Technical Institute, then I would understand. The fact that someone is seeking for a higher education would naturally lead to taking a few composition courses and developing a vocabulary.

Newspaper comparison

2005-09-29T01:46:00.000-04:00

The story of Luis Posada Carriles is one of intrigue. Apparently, he received training from the CIA in the early 1960s and currently he is the main suspect in a Cuban airline bombing that killed 73 civilians in 1976. He also stands accused of numerous assassination threats against the Cuban leader Fidel Castro. Carrlies, a Venezuelan citizen, has been on the run ever since. Things became interesting in May when he turned up in Miami and started holding impromptu press conferences. This prompted the government of Venezuela to request his extradition. Just days ago in El Paso, immigration Judge William L. Abbott ruled that he would not be deported to Venezuela (a ruling five months in the making).

The local newspapers and opinion in Venezuela have been astounded by the US response. They are quick to point out the hypocrisy displayed by the United States in their failure to deport him to Venezuela stating:

There is a cynical double standard at work here fighting an 'Â a la carte' war on terror. On the one hand, the United States presents itself to the world as the leader of a global war against terrorism, invades countries it accuses of terrorism and restricts the civil rights of Americans in order to combat terrorism.

On the other hand, when it comes to its own terrorist whom it has recruited and coddled for years, the United States refuses to allow that he is tried for some of the heinous crimes he has committed.

However, our local papers have painted the suspected terrorist as a 'Cuban militant'. They do cite various sides of the issue. This includes his defense that he would be tortured Venezuelala, as well state an opposing view from the director of the Cuban Defense League. Elena Freyre states "It seems to me that this would have been exactly what this administration would not have wanted in this particular case. What we have here is a very elegant, if you want to call it that, or sneaky, if you want to call it that, maneuver to allow him to remain in this country."

What is interesting to me is that our government cites the Convention Against Torture which was adopted by the United Nations in 1984. Since when have we cited, or cared for international law in recent years? It does seem that the U.S. has conflicting interests, which areitherer zealously pursue 'evildoers' or to maintain a strong anti-Cuban policy. Ahhh, politics. Its all so awkward sometimes.

Modern Rhetoric

2005-09-21T08:20:00.000-04:00

rhet·o·ric
Pronunciation: 're-t&-rik
Function: noun
1 : the art of speaking or writing effectively: as a : the study of principles and rules of composition formulated by critics of ancient times b : the study of writing or speaking as a means of communication or persuasion
2 a : skill in the effective use of speech b : a type or mode of language or speech; also : insincere or grandiloquent language
3 : verbal communication : DISCOURSE

I left Florida in 1999 for the military. I was in Missouri for a few months and then I was in Arlington, Virginia for the next four and a half years. At any given time, leaving a familiar environment for a new one will be cause for adaptation. A new landscape rose before me. My vernacular was enhanced to include words like hill, ridge, and valley. Those features became very comfortable. After a few years away from home, I returned for a short visit. The first thing I noticed wasn't the fact that everything was flat, but there were all kinds of billboards polluting my vision.

They appeared in the Carolinas as I traveled southbound on Interstate 95. At first a small trickle, these man made wonders slowly eased there way into my subconscious. By the time I reached the Sunshine State it was nothing to see five or six within my field of vision. Most were lovingly adored with a small seal at the bottom and centered that read either 'Viacom' or 'Clear Channel'. I had forgotten about the modern pièce de résistance of our consumer society. I tried in vain to place these images in their former residence: the Seventh Layer of Hell in my subconscious. It was a miserable failure. I rediscovered what I had left: a Florida that lost its soul in the 1930's when tourism took over.

In general, most of us do not have a problem with these signs, and the few that do are often outnumbered and outgunned. Billboards support a multi-billion dollar annual industry that rakes in cash surprisingly well. Most incorporate relatively small agencies and generate massive revenue for a parent company. This advertising medium employs the use of color, picture, and a catchy jargon to get their message to you, the consumer. Billboards persuade and argue using a form of written communication. However mutated from gracefulness they are, they are one of the most prominent forms of rhetoric in modern America.