The Duel: Challenge Accepted

The gauntlet has been cast, and the challenge accepted. A grievous wrong has been smote upon honor, and the nobles will settle differences at noon upon a future date.

In case you, the humble reader are unawares, my childhood chum hast committed a grievous wrong. Our correspondence has been provided below. There will surely be more to come in this matter before us, as for now I provide only these details. However, rest assured, there will come more on this matter...

Dec 8

Good Sir,

In reference to the New Year's quest, all weeping has subsided. Duty to Country is held in the highest regard, whether yee man a desk or fly on silvered wings to the skies. The entire expeditionary party laments your decision. However comfortably cozy our state may be, we will raise a glass of Jim Beam and Egg Nog in your honor at the prescribed hour. Forsooth, the celebratory time of year is nigh, and the Ghost of Christmas Present knocks upon the mantle of our doors. Neigh, this one is wearing a blue vest with Wal-Mart embroidered to the front and 'How May I Help You' stenciled to the posterior. As I glance through my parlor window, I see the glittery' gleams of the Spanish settlement across the way and their glowing Feliz Navidad Holiday decor.

To address a blow to ones psyche, as surely transpired in happenstance, I speak of the events that transpired on the 25th of November. A trip was made to the deepest regions to our southernly towne by the good reader. Unawares to oneself was this. However, a trip by carriage and steed was made practically to Lord Tampa's own backyarde, to the gentelman's pub Mons Venus. For future reference, in keeping with good lordly fashion, extend the hand of chivalrous friendship to imbibe, with mouth and eye, the many delectable delicacies so freely offered. Announced visits need not official inviation nor warning.

The books on the shelf round' me are calling my name. The time for the scholarly session is nearing its close. Of late, I have alleviated my stresses with much sawing and manipulation of wooden pine. However, the hour is near when I must accumulate my knowledge for the final testing of my session. Wish me luck and in that regard I wish you Good Sir...

Godspeed,

Lord Jorge Belle of the Tampa Province

Dec 10

Dearest Lord Belle,

I trust all acedemic examinations have both transpired and hath earned the highest remarks. The estemed lineage of your families strong showing in acedemia is likely to be the culprit, nay to mention your devoted sweat and furvor.

As for our meetings on the once agreed upon time and place, I offer further apologies. I shall be scouting the area north of said position on the said date and time via aerocopter. Such further detail shall not be forthcomming because of their sensitive status.

Sir, as you so pointedly remarked in your last correspondence, I did fail to recognise your proximity to the noble and gentlemanly clube of Mons Venus. Humbly requesting your pardon, I was unsure young lady Belle's opinion of said gentelmanly clubs. Hark, then i doth realized that I had, in fact, been in accompanyment of the Lady Belle whenst we did embark upon Camelot in our nations fine Capital, prior to your nuputuals.

Herein, I state in reply to your protest. I hath offended your honor so aggreviously, that there lies no other recourse upon your part, but to issue a Request For Duel.

Your communique serves as a fresh slap from your hearty glove. I accept your challenge, and in accordance with Her Majesties Dueling Concourse, I set forth the following criteria.

1) Said duel shall take place there abouts the premise of Mons Venus.

2) It shall take -place at the strike of Noon on the day of your choosing, preferably after both of us have partaken in our respective last lunchon, which i suggest we partake togeather

3) The method shall be a formal pace-off, where in a third party shall pace us off ten (10) paces.

4) Our weapons shall be selected in accordance with Her Majesties Dueling Concourse. I proffer the following options:

a. The deadly tropical fruit, the Bananae

b. An angry cat

c. A cooked, glazed ham weighing several kilograms

d. assorted pocket lint

e. yet undeterimed amount of monies, that shall be provided by myself.

Of which, this money shall be issued to strippers on a discretionary basis. The man that utters that he can take no more blows to the face from breasts, nor anymore gyrations from said ladies for hire, shall be the vanquished.

This duel shall take place on the vicitity of the Birth Of Our Lord, when both parties shall be in the area- OR- the next time our paths cross (with a substitute forum).

Regards,

Arch-Duke Harlon Polomplanara of East Quesha-Quesha Province

In the Sovern State of Squiginara